On August 24, 2020, at approximately 11:38 AM, Trooper Christopher Wademan with Florida Highway Patrol Troop D arrested Rebecca Kozub for possession of a controlled substance. She was also alleged to have tampered with evidence and transported drug paraphernalia.

Kozub was the passenger of a white 2 door vehicle stopped for speeding. Trooper Waderman noted that after he activated his emergency equipment, the vehicle continued driving for 1- 2 miles before coming to a stop, despite having had several places to safely pull off the roadway.

According to Trooper Waderman, “While behind the vehicle I could see the passenger through the back windshield moving around a lot. Upon the vehicle stopping made a passenger side approach, requested the driver’s license, vehicle information and informed my reason for the stop. While standing at passenger side the driver became concerned about getting ticket.”

“The driver was positively identified as Mr. Gregory Palemo from his Florida driver’s license, and the passenger positively identified by her name and date of birth as Ms. Rebecca Kozub. While standing at the passenger side of the vehicle I could clearly see the passenger had several sores on her legs and face. Based on my experience with narcotics users, I know that they tend to pick at their skin, causing sores like these. Furthermore, the occupants were consistently moving around and could not stay still which is common with narcotics use.”

“….Trooper Pubillones then deployed K9 Rico to conduct and exterior air sniff of the vehicle. Trooper Pubillones later informed Mr. Palemo, Ms. Kozub and I that K9 Rico alerted to narcotics inside of the vehicle. Both occupants were asked if they had any contraband on their person then were placed into the rear of my patrol vehicle while a probable cause search was conducted. During a probable cause search no items of contraband were located inside.”

They were eventually found. Inside of Ms. Kozub. From whose pants would emerge a purple case containing four capped needles, one clear plastic bag containing two metal spoons along with two more needles, a clear glass pipe, and 13.12 grams of meth.

Mr. Palermo was released with a warning for speed. On December 7, 2020, a Notice of No Information was filed in Ms. Kozub’s case, declining prosecution.

[If you are interested in knowing why prosecution was declined, I expect to have that answer within the next few days. I will update this text when that happens. UPDATE: As promised, I have the answer. A full explanation of why Ms. Kozub was not prosecuted can be found on the Real World Police subreddit, at http://rwp.yt/kozub.]

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23 thoughts on ““I was fixing my coochie lips, dude!””
  1. As promised, I found out why the Office of the State Attorney (read: prosecutor) didn't file charges against Ms. Kozub. If you'd like to understand why the evidence would have been suppressed at trial, visit rwp.yt/kozub. Short link redirects to a post on the Real World Police subreddit, /r/realworldpolice. ✌️

  2. It’s a miracle these guys are not blown to Mars off these roads as they don’t wear visibility vests !

  3. Is there anything I can do is music to my ears. Let's talk about this at the Days inn but first let me stop at Walgreens for a pack of raincoats don't want to take something back to the misses.

  4. She took the Stones song Brown Sugar the wrong way.
    "Is it too late to tell you I am also carrying a needle and a spoon"
    She better had listened to Neil Young instead of the Stones.

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