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By elboriyorker

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29 thoughts on “Using less offensive names for crimes”
  1. You did a fine job!! I still like these words applied to all those wonderful new names for crime: Your going to jail.. 🙂

  2. Why not a guy runs down over 40 People in Wisconsin (my home state) and there calling it a crash. 5 years ago it would be vehicular manslaughter, but now it's just a crash…I'm so confused.

  3. Theft = Redistribution of wealth
    Suicide = Late life abortion
    Assisted Suicide = Requested late life abortion
    Man Slaughter = Improvised late life abortion
    Vandalism = Improvised art development
    Grape = Single party consensual sex
    Illegal Firearm = Undocumented crowd control device
    Blackmail = Requested wealth redistribution by promise of withholding personal information
    Rioting = Peacefully protesting with undocumented crowd control devices
    Illegal Immigration = Undocumented Travel
    Smuggling = The importation/exportation of undocumented goods or re-enacting the role of Han Solo from Star Wars
    Hate Crime (if you are not white in appearance) = A misunderstanding
    Mutilation = Improvised body art

    How am I going so far?

  4. genocide = righteous equity
    high treason = the global greater good
    high treason with genocide = righteous equity for the global greater good

    This is so terrible that I’m thinking about not pressing that submit bu…..

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