How to Talk Yourself Into a Ticket

1. Mike, I have a question — it comes with a story first.

   Many years ago, I was picking up my dad at Hobby Airport (now George W. Bush Airport) in Houston. I was driving an 82 Thunderbird, and this was back when you had emissions stickers — you had to get it to pass emission quality test every two years… which really dates this story… and if it passed you got a sticker that you'd put in the front driver-side windshield. At the time of this story, I was about 4 months late on my update, and thus was risking getting a ticket.

   But anyhoo, back to the airport… there was a cop directing traffic on the intake of passenger pickup…. it was very busy and he trying to direct 4 lanes merging, so he was looking in all directions, gesturing hither and yon, and talking to the cars AND someone on the radio. So he was doing a million things at once. And I slowly merged past, I drove by him… he wasn't even looking at me or my car, just saying something on the radio.

   But just as I came right next to him, he was looking elsewhere, but he still tapped my windshield on my expired emissions sticker. He said, "You need to take care of that, man…." and went back to his conversation without missing a beat.

   My question: do ALL cops pick up on those things, even if they are doing something totally different? I'm guessing I didnt get a ticket because he was doing something else, but if thats the case seems weird he'd even be looking at that. If you're just out and about walking down the street off-duty, do you still notice cars with expired tags, cracked windshields or unsafe tires?

2. I got pulled over for a dead headlight and the cop was nice but an a hole! I was working all day to pay his salary and asked if he had anything better to do! He then asked for my license and came back with a ticket and said that he was going to let me off it it weren’t for my attitude? Wtf???

3. That man you pulled over seemed very angry

4. Great video, but a little sloppy when addressing non-binary people.

5. “You’re free to go.”

   “Am I being detained??”

6. I have gotten multiple “warnings” for just being straight up honest w/ the cop.

   My most memorable was as a teen running late for school. I got stopped for running a red light and speeding.

   Cop: know why I pulled you over?

   Me: speeding?

   Cop: you ran a red light

   Me: honestly officer, I thought it was still yellow as I crossed the intersection.

   Cop: how fast were you going?

   Me:45 or 50?

   Cop: do you know the speed limit on this road?

   Me: 40?

   Cop: so if it is 40, why were you doing 45-50?

   Me: I was in a hurry, I’m late for school.

   Cop: I’m gonna let you go with a warning, but be more careful. It is raining & it is dangerous.

   Moral of the story, be straight up & honest w/ cops & they will generally be fair & honest w/ you.

7. Traffic stops are the worst.. had a really bad experience even though I was polite and compliant, guy was an ass and tried to charge me with things I didn't do. Charges got dropped. I always have shown police respect and try to make their job easy and safe when it does happen. That said I have had mercy a couple times so that's all you can do. Be a civilized person and if the guys in a good mood you might catch a break. There are more good cops than angry ones. Be safe brother

8. Dude, Angry Cops was the perfect person to play the “butt hole motorist”! That was hilarious!

9. Give respect to get respect*
   *what kind, depends on circumstance

10. WARNING (TICKET) = RECEIVING A REMINDER.

11. AC is here

12. reason for ticket; you are a but hole, and you ran a red light, but mostly a but hole

13. Our department would bang the mic whenever you got on the radio.

14. When it comes to a traffick stop I live by one saying “don’t bite the hand that feeds you”

15. 😁😮👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙏💙

16. Doctor: Ma’am, sorry to keep you waiting.
    Ma’am: I pay you your salary!!

17. "Ashole" I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

18. Even though it is partially true that I pay every government worker’s salary in part in the city I work and the city I own my condo in because I pay taxes, I’ve never said, “I pay your salary.” Also, the cop also “pays his salary” in part because of taxes.

19. The tickets I have received: 1) Going 60mph in a 55mph road (although he clocked me at 72mph), 2) Using an electronic communication device while driving, 3) Failure to yield to oncoming traffic (2&3 were issued together by a cop who responded to an accident), and 4) Failure to control the vehicle (that was partially induced by weather conditions, so I don’t know if I could have fought it in court but I didn’t).

    I have gotten a warning for 1) speeding and passing in a no passing zone and 2) going 59mph in a 45mph road.

20. I have been pulled over by a couple of police officers over the years. To be honest, every time I have been pulled over I violated the law either by talking on the phone or speeding. I was polite and honest and I got away with it. Most of these guys are fine ordinary people. You don't have to engage in verbal bullshit. Just be honest and polite and you might get away with it.

21. I got pulled over one time for rolling through a stop sign and I was honest I didn’t see it until the last second and it was pouring down rain and I saw the cop flip on his lights as soon as I did it so I pulled over and told him straight up that I I didn’t see it until the last second and I figured it would be better to roll through it controlled instead of slamming on the breaks and hydroplaning through it and he understood and actually said that was probably the best option and let me off with a warning

22. Starting with ' I apologise officer'' goes a long way. I know for a fact

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