In this episode of Off the Cuff podcast: Mike, Dave and the UPP survived an Earthquake (thanks Canada) during our recording of the show where we try to eventually get to the point of mocking the nonsense that was the Philly Starbucks arrests.

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32 thoughts on “We Survived an Earthquake Ranting About Starbucks”
  1. Honestly, I have had WAYYY worse experiences with 911 operators/dispatchers than police officers. One time I was living in the university of Washington family housing and there was a guy standing by my car pacing back and forth and I was bringing my 2 year old daughter to the car and he was sweating, gave off horrible vibes, and asked me for a ride to the university district… Like you dumb fuck that's where we are. As I was trying to get my daughter in the car he was pacing right next to my car door and looking at me like he was thinking about jumping in the driver's seat. I got in my car fast as hell and realized it had been rummaged through (the locks didn't work in one door which I didn't learn about until after this) I immediately called 911 cause I knew this guy was up to no good and the operator said so he never did anything wrong other than going through your car? I was like well he was acting like he was about to try to steal the damn car. And I got scolded for calling 911 because that wasn't an emergency and told me to call the non emergency number.
    I was like fuck this I don't care. Went to get food with my daughter and was gone for around an hour. When I got back there were like 10-15 police cars in the housing unit parking lot. Mind you this is the FAMILY HOUSING for the university so all of the townhouses are full of students with little kids. I walked up to one of the detectives when I got home and told them what happened to me and asked if it was by chance related and his eyes got all big and started treating me like a witness. I gave him the description of the guy and it was the same person in custody. Apparently after I left, this guy who was armed, broke into one of the townhomes I live in with the family and 2 toddlers inside. He ran out of their house and was inside a car trying to find a way to start it when police arrived. That family of little kids was okay but if anything would have happened to them It would have been because the dispatcher didn't take that threat seriously.

  2. Any leader who doesn't back his officers. That leader doesn't belong in that position. Another person needs to step in. Because if you don't. Sorry to say it this way guys, SHIT ROLLS DOWNHILL!

  3. I live in Phoenix. I can vouch for Mike saying double layer SPF 100 😉 That sun finds every little gap you leave. I go out for a ride on the weekend and afterwards people ask if I have freckles. Nope… just where the sweat rubbed off the sunscreen and those are tanned spots.

  4. “From the window to the wall!”… I kept waiting for it but it never happened. You guys rock! Your stud spacing is usually going to be 14 1/2 inch bays or 22 1/2 inch bays with 16 on center or 24 on center. Keep on keepin on.

  5. 2 young businessman should be able to use toilet without making a purchase. Drink free water too. use free internet.
    I like rolling my joints and freebasing my heroin in starbucks bathrooms.
    Please let us do this.
    Sometime I take a shit and get some on the floor.

  6. Hey Mike is there a scenario where congress passes a law so immoral that you or your fellow cops would refuse to enforce it? What is the blue line's red line?

  7. My coworkers are now staring at me wondering why I am finding my report writing so funny…secretly laughing my ass off watching this.

  8. I made it 30 mins and couldn't watch anymore i love you guys but when theres no point it gets old pretty fast and i dont want to be a whiner but I just want you guys to know so you can get like the perfect Rhythm it just takes some time you guys are doing great

  9. I love trying to find "clean" ways to say things, haha. Once I threw out "what the flipper snickers bar" and it just threw everyone off. It was pretty great.

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